Child's behaviour-am I too soft?
9 answers /
Last post: 09/04/2023 at 9:19 pm
Currently having a debate with my OH about my ability to deal with my 3 year old son. His behaviour is mixed, he can be really stubborn and doesn't always listen, typical of his age I think but OH disagrees. He says I give in too quickly, I do give rewards such as small packs of sweets or time on the tablet when he has been good but I don't know how to do punishment? He won't stay on the naughty chair-just walks away and I'm not dragging him back, he just laughs and thinks it's a game.
He currently needs punishing because he threw his cereal bowl on the floor this morning because he wanted a different one but I really didn't know how to confront this? We had to leave for nursery or I would have made him help clean it up (or tried) but my OH was furious and said I should be able to control him better and teach him that you don't throw bowls like this.
I feel lost, any help would be appreciated.
I agree you should have set boundaries. I have heard it many time mothers blame the ago but my child was never like that at that age. I'm a very layed back parent I have never had any problams if you let your child get away with it. It will only get worse and from what you said the fact your child laugh shows you have let your child get away with being naughty you need to put your foot down before your child gets older and more harder to controll
Yes I agree with Louise, time to tighten up before he goes to school. Start afresh by making up some rules as a family, be clear what the consequences will be if they are broken-it's hard but you need to pick things he will actually care about even if it makes your life harder in the short term. Then, always, always follow through no matter what. I have left parties before, walked out of shops, turned the car around, whatever-it doesn't take long before they realise that you mean what you say. Good luck, it's the hardest job in the world x
It’s not late now to be punishing him for something he did hours ago .
Well HE NEEDS a parenting course !! Mums let there children make mistakes they make them so next time they may learn why have tears he sound a bit abusive what was he brought up like ?? Was he smacked ??????? Your way your the mum xx
Your OH needs to chill out!
the child is 3. Just keep calm and ask him to help clear it up.
i never used the naughty step. If my daughter was having a tantrum then it was best to let her get it out of her system and then discuss it with her calmly.
you’re doing fine
Laughing at the naughty step is an entirely normal reaction for a 3 year old. They are not trying to wind you up.
Next time, offer him a choice between the different coloured bowls and then he will feel more in control of his own life and won’t throw it.
Of course he needs to be told it’s not acceptable to throw bowls but to my mind, naughty steps are never an effective way to get the message across. Just tell him calmly, no, it’s against the house rules to throw things because it might hurt someone. Just use it as a learning point and then move on with life.
Children definitely need boundaries. Trying being firm but fair. My first was an angel the second was more challenging. When they tantruming and it was safe to do so I would ignore and walk off. The old adage ignore bad behavior and praise good behaviour. Parenting is not easy. Stick to what you have said it is easy to give in but will pay off in the long run. Good luck.
He is just 3. It is normal he will behave like that and even laugh at you putting him on time out. And ignore those comments " my child was never like this and never did this and that, blah blah blah".
My child is 5, and doesn't even care about what I ask him to do, scandalous right? Nope, totally normal, he is still learning to manage his behavior and emotions. I put him on time out, have put him on time out when he was 2, 3 and so on, have stick with taking him back if he went away, and every suggestion on discipline, have read parenting books and lots of online advice. Not really working.
But what works is modeling positive behavior and giving attention to positive behavior. To put him on time out for something he has already forgotten is too much, it is giving attention to the negative behavior and he will do it again just to get attention. Let this one go and start fresh next time.