Help! 8 yr old with stained underwear

10 answers /

Last post: 21/03/2023 at 2:16 am

Anonymous

19/04/2009 at 11:25 am

I'm hoping that someone might be able to help me - my darling step-daughter hides her underwear in the laundry basket every morning and 9 times out of ten it's really badly stained with faeces. Both me and my husband have spoken to her about needing to wipe herself properly and keeping herself clean and we've discussed thhings like hygiene with her but it doesn't seem to be making any difference.

I've really started to lose my temper about it now as I think it's just laziness on her part. Have tried talking to her mum about it when she collects her for the weekend but she just shrugs her shoulders and says she's tried. I feel like I'm the only one who's really concerned about this but I'm at a loose end. I have another daughter (mine) who's almost 9 and I never had this problem with her at all after about 5.

Has anybody else gone through this and have any solutions?

Michelle

Anonymous

19/04/2009 at 12:47 pm

Hiya Michelle

Have you tried letting her use the kids toilet wet wipes?

Also, have you tried giving her a girls book on ''growing up''?

How about letting her choose some nice underwear?

It may also be worthwhile you contacting ERIC for more advice: Bedwetting, daytime wetting, soiling, constipation, special needs Information Packs

There can be a few causes for soling eg attention, laziness, not wiping correctly, stress/anxiety/worry, constipation etc

Try to avoid losing your temper with her or talk about it all the time(esp to others in front of her) as this wont help. She will outgrow it. Maybe try a star/reward chart with her (maybe even pocket money).

Let me know how things go.

Jeanettex

Anonymous

19/04/2009 at 5:33 pm

Thanks Jeanette, I might try the wipes, although we can only do that at home and not at school.

Star chart sounds like a good idea too.

Michelle

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rachel c(391)

20/04/2009 at 8:26 pm

Sounds exactly what i go through with my 9 year old step daugter she always has knickers stained with urine. I asked her dad to speak to her mum but she doesn't think its a problem and i don't feel i can talk to my sep daugter about it. I have a 3 and 4 year old and they never do it. My step daughter leaves it till the last minute and then runs off to the toilet after a bit of wee has come out. I keep on worrying when she has to get changed for pe someone will notice and take the mickey out of her.

Anonymous

20/04/2009 at 9:05 pm

Maybe try saying You look soooo beautiful, and I love you when she is clean or you just clean her.I did this to my kids and it worked well.I am trying to tell my kids this is good rather than that is bad.

Hope this is helpful.

Anonymous

21/04/2009 at 9:08 am

Hi Rachel, My 4 yr sometimes "leaks" but we have come to discover that she has a very weak bladder and is also very prone to UTI's, we are waiting to be referred back to the urologist. We have to make sure she gets to the bathroom really quickly when we see she needs or she says she needs to go. Could it be possible that your step daughter doesnt actually realise that she is wetting herself and is maybe embarrased about it? It could just be attention or she is simply a bit 'lazy' when it comes to going, but i would maybe have her checked over just incase.

x

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Anonymous

21/04/2009 at 1:46 pm

Michelle

Is your step daughter constipated? This can cause leakage in the pants. My son is also 8 and he has been badly constiapted and we have had leakage on lots of occasions. I know at 8 they are quite independent, but you need to find out if she is pooing properly. It took many months for me to realise what was wrong with my son.

Don't lose your temper with her or get annoyed, she can't help it. And if you do she will hide things from you which will cause further problems.
With my son, i am just mater of fact and say okay we need to get you changed and cleaned up. Because i don't make a fuss, he comes to me to tell me, which i would rather he did.

Wet wipes also are a good idea, as toilet tissue itself doesn't always do the job.

Good luck