Ex threatening me if I don't have abortion

Hi Nunknown,

We've moved your thread to our unhealthy relationships board, as we think it's a more appropriate place for this topic and you’re more likely to get responses here.

Hi Nunknown P,

I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thank you for reaching out and posting your situation so honestly on here - sending gentle hugs your way this morning. How are you today?

Nunknown P, what you have described here is very typical abusive behaviour and it's completely unacceptable and it's time to reach out for some emotional and practical advice from Women's Aid.

They specialise in helping women who are living in abusive environments and they will talk you through all of the options that are open to you as well as making you aware of what support is available to you right now. Don't worry, they won't make you do anything you don't want to, but they will give you all the information you need so that you can work on keeping you and your children safe!

Here is a link to their Live Chat service where you can start the conversation in confidence: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

We also have a parent supporter here at Netmums who works for WA, so I will ask her to drop by to see if she can add anything further.

I just wanted to clarify a few things in your post. You said your ex has threatened:

'...to start trouble at my home, threatening to hurt my family, to turn up and hurt me' - Can I ask if your ex has carried out this behaviour in your home beforehand Nunknown P?

Sadly, there is evidence to suggest that children who are brought up in this kind of environment can go on to be detrimentally affected right through to adulthood, so you're right to be concerned. We have an article on our site which you might find helpful to read through. You can access the details at: https://www.netmums.com/support/protecting-children-from-domestic-abuse

You also said: 'I just don't know what to do about the situation and I don't feel like I have anyone to speak to.' Are you under your GP or any mental health team at the moment to ensure you get the support you need?

It's really important that you're able to chat to us safely, so please make sure you don't share your password with anyone and that you log off every device after you speak with us. If abusers feel like they're losing control, the abuse can escalate, so please be careful when posting here.

I know this is a lot of information to take in, but you've taken the first brave step by writing to us here because you know that the situation can't continue as it is, for both you and your children's sake. The priority is protecting yourself and your family, you are the one carrying this baby and it is absolutely your decision what you would like to do going forward. Services such as Womens' Aid we have mentioned can help you know how to do this safely.

Please keep chatting with us (safely) and we'll try to support you in any way we can.

Take care,

Emma

Keep the baby. Do you have texts etc of his abuse. I'd call the police I'd also not contact him or have any contact what so ever block him on everything. You need call the police though get them involved show them every message etc they will keep you safe.

Don't even tell.him your keeping it say it isn't his. He needs no contact he's vile

Block him on everything Straight away and call the police

Hello Nunknown P,

I'm a support worker from Women's Aid.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Your ex partner is so controlling. No one should ever make you feel pressured into having an abortion. You should have total control over what happens to your body.

I think it would be helpful to get some support to help you to plan the best way forward.

A good place to start would probably be with your local domestic abuse service. They should be able to give you some ongoing practical and emotional support with everything and may also have access to legal advice. Details of your nearest service can be found by clicking on the following link: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-directory/

You can contact a Support Worker from Women’s Aid via our live chat where you can chat in confidence about your situation. Support workers will not tell you what to do but they can give support, practical information, and discuss with you any options that are available based on your specific circumstances. For more information about the chat service please go to: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

If you have experienced domestic violence, it is possible to apply for an injunc tion under civil law. You can apply for an Injunc tion in the Magistrates Court or the County Court under part four of the Family Law Act (1996).

A Non-Molestation Order is a court order to prevent your current or former partner, or other family member, from using or threatening violence against you or your children. It can also prevent your perpetrator from intimidating, harassing or pestering you. A Non-Molestation Order is usually granted for a fixed period of something like six months but can sometimes be granted for an indefinite period.

You may also wish to contact Domestic Violence Assist (a specialist injunc tions service) on 0800 195 8699 (24/7), www.dvassist.org.uk/

Thanks for reaching out.

Lisa

I'm going to say that I don't think you should keep this baby? Why? Because doing so will be putting you and your family in danger from a man who obviously cares nothing about you and your family. In situations like this it's best to get rid of both the baby and the man. He is a horrible person for saying this to you. You have a family to live for. Not to put them in danger. You should kick him to the curb and focus on you and your family. Think this through logically, not emotionally because you don't want to have to deal with this man. He's a man child and is self absorbent and he won't benefit you or the child's life. Find someone who wants more children and who is good at caring for someone other than himself. You deserve better even if you don't like to think of this option. Get rid of him and the child.

Sorry that you’re going through this, contact the family justice centre so they can help you, they can give advice, help you move somewhere safe, get a restraining order against him and offer you and your kids support

if you go through with the abortion you may regret it

good luck with everything xxx