Ex that I keep reconnecting with
5 answers /
Last post: 17/04/2023 at 10:43 pm
So I have a ex, we have broken up a few times. He has worked on himself massively: been to therapy, taken courses on ASD (my little boy has ASD and this has been a sticking point), he has been romantic (he wasn't at the beginning, but now is). He is absolutely brilliant with my little boy and does more things with and for him than his biological father (he sees his dad 4 days a month).
The point of my post is that he is an amazing man, but I can't get over the age difference between us. I am almost 36 and he is 47. He is keen for another baby (I am with the right person), I just struggle with thinking what it's going to be like for a child to have such an old father.
AIBU to say we should just be friends (he feels like home and the sexual chemistry is undeniable), I just can't shake the age thing in my mind. If he was younger, I would be with him in a heartbeat.
Hi
personally I think it’s really sad your more focused on the age gap.
There is 10 years between me and my husband and we’ve been together 19 years. We met when I was 21 and he was 31.
age has never been an issue.
if everything is fine in every other way then don’t ruin things due to a number. Many would love your happiness.
At the end of the day it's about how you feel with and about each other rather than the age gap. In what ways do you notice the age gap? Do you want another child/want the same things in life as he does?
My partner and I have a 16 year age gap. We have been together for 7.5 years now and have a 5 year old, we couldn't be happier and unless we are talking about TV shows or music we were into when we were younger we barely ever notice the age gap and honestly never really have.
We knew each other for years before we met and when we started seeing each other we discussed the gap and what we both wanted in life- luckily we both wanted (and still want) the same things so happily settled down knowing we were headed in the same direction.
I suppose its up to you as individuals to lay those cards out and speak about where you see yourselves in 5, 10, 15 years time and see if your ideals match up. I don't think it matters so much for men when it comes to having babies older really, I guess again it depends on him as a person and also if you want any more babies.
Hope you can work out what you both want, all the best x
That age gap is nothing. I thought you were going to say you were 23 and he was like 60 or something like that. (someone else had a similar post with that actual age gap). Are you sure you are not looking for an excuse because loads of couples have a 10 year age gap. It's mostly women who do look for a younger person and you just said that yourself so that proves the point. Would you rather be with a younger guy who is not right ?? Of course not.
Examine your motives and decide based on if you actually love the guy. If he had one leg would that also make a difference ? etc and so on. Don't make excuses. Look at Bruce Forsyth and Des O Connor. They had partners 30 plus years younger and no one questioned that. It the shoe fits blah de blah. Otherwise you may end up in a worse situation and kick yourself for the rest of your life.
wow, wow
as a man all I can say is wow…
he deserves better