MIL problems. Am I being over the top? AIBU

I apologise in advance about the length of this post and I hope it makes sense, my head is so baffled I don’t even know where to start.

I have been with my partner for just over 5 years.

During this time I have lived with his mother for 6 months and spent a lot of time around her.

I now find myself getting fed up of things and I just need to know if my feelings are justified or whether I’m being over the top.

When I first met my boyfriends mother we got on really well, we went out for coffees, we had a laugh. As time went on I started to dread every get together and every time I had to spend there- here are a list of things that have made me get to the point I’m at today:

• When we were living there, myself and partner got fed up of how we were living. They went to bed every night at 8pm and we couldn’t leave the room after they went to bed as it would ‘wake them up’ I completely understand it is their house but you have to be reasonable and at least allow us to use the toilet. If we left the room we’d get a comment ‘you can’t keep going up and down the stairs’ we’d even have to be in the house by the time they went to bed and couldn’t stay out any later.
• we decided to leave their house and go and stay with my mum until our house move was ready to go. We’d come to the decision together that we would go and stay with my mum. My partners Mum made the decision to approach me to tell me my partner was really upset he was having to leave and that he doesn’t want to move (this could have caused problems for us but by this point I knew what she was like)
• I have watched her drag my partner down several times by telling him that he should be having children and getting married by now. She was adamant to his face that he was unhappy and is at the wrong point in life. She knew I could hear this as I was in the other room. Little does she know we had a miscarriage 4 years.
• she has spoken to me about his ex several times and how she never liked her, yet his ex seems a decent person. Their relationship just didn’t work out.
• I made contact at Christmas to let her know what time we’d be over and because it wasn’t the time she wanted us there she ignored me, messaged my partner and asked him if he was still going over at the time she expected. I personally find it disrespectful and like I’m dismissed as his partner.
• She continuously tells me what my partner wants and makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him.
• She tells us where we need to be & when. Including how much annual leave we need to take to make an event.
• We told her we were moving away, she made out she was happy for us but the next day my partner got several messages saying he needed to go and talk to her because she doesn’t understand what we’re doing and that they need a chat. I ended up having to ask her to respect his decision and be happy for him.
• If something doesn’t go her way or we’re not there when expected she makes my partner feel very guilty.

There is more I could list but it would take me forever.

I am kind of at the end of my tether and my partner knows it and understands completely. He does say ‘it’s just who she is’ but he does accept I cannot deal with it.

She now wants to come and see us in our home for a few days (which I was fine with) but I tried to explain to her that I was hurt by some things and she ignored me only to message my partner asking if she could still come to see us.

Am I wrong for wanting to cut off from her and keep my distance? I cannot allow somebody to make me feel uncomfortable and disrespected.. But at the same time, I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

thanks in advance and thanks for reading.