9 weeks pregnant, no money, unsure I want father around and already have 2
4 answers /
Last post: 25/03/2023 at 5:27 pm
I really don’t know what I’m hoping for for this post. Other than writing down my thoughts and hoping for a miracle answer to my problem
I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant at 39 years old and I already have twin 8 year olds.
I have very little money, no desire to live with another adult and no desire for a relationship.
the father is a good man who I have a lot of respect for. I care for him. I just don’t want to be with him.
inreally don’t know what to do
I feel like a failure. I’m in 2 minds whether to terminate the pregnancy. All I feel like doing is running away with my children but I can’t as they need their father
Hi Sam,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - maternal mental health, so you can get the advice and support you need
Hi Sam,
I’m Kayleigh, one of the parent supporters at Netmums. It sounds like you are feeling really stuck at the moment and you’re not sure how to move forward from here. Being pregnant can also amplify our feelings and leave us feeling even more vulnerable. You are not sure whether you want to continue the pregnancy and you’re feeling unhappy in your relationship at the moment.
You mentioned that ‘All I feel like doing is running away with my children but I can’t as they need their father.’ If you are unhappy, you have every right to leave this relationship Sam, it will still be possible for your children to see their dad if you did decide to do this.
I wonder if you’ve felt able to share with anyone in your life how you are feeling right now? Sometimes having a chance to talk about these things out loud can help us in finding the next step.
If you would like to talk through how you are feeling about your pregnancy and your options confidentially, the National Unplanned Pregnancy Advisory service have a helpline you can access, there’s some more information about their services here: https://www.nupas.co.uk/
Please let us know if we can support you further
Wishing you all the best,
Kayleigh
Hello Sam,
I am not sure if I am reading this correctly. Are you currently single but pregnant and don’t want to feel you have to be in a relationship with the father or is it that you are currently in a relationship but don’t want to stay in it? I am of similar age (just turned 40) and also have an 8 year old son (though I have two daughters who are older at 14 and 18) and I sometimes miss the baby stage but sometimes feel starting again would be a lot so I can understand you being unsure about whether to continue the pregnancy or not. What I will say though is that whether you decide to continue or not you don’t have to be in a relationship you don’t want to. You can coparent successfully without needing to be together. I think the suggestion of speaking to a pregnancy counsellor is a great one as you can discuss your options and how either may impact you. I’ve been a single mother for more time than I was in a relationship and although it’s definitely tough at times it’s also completely possible to do and fulfilling. You can lead your own life and still have the children’s father/s in their lives. Sending you lots of positive thoughts.