Regret After First Abortion Pill

I'm in this situation right now so I have complete empathy.

My situation has not ended well unfortunately, but prior to that, I read extensively to ascertain whether the pregnancy could be viable. From what I gathered, there is a possibility of survival, but the figures given varied greatly.

I bled heavily 12 hours after taking the first pill. If you haven't bled, maybe you could be lucky; I really hope so!

It might just be a case of wait and see, in the US it seems that progesterone jabs help support the pregnancy, but in the UK it seems the general consensus is that this is not useful or available.

Hi Hayley,

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation too. Thinking of you ❤️.

This is exactly what im finding now; I asked everyone for progesterone jabs/tablets and nobody would prescribe them to me. Currently sat in Royal Stoke hospital after I begged the gyno to give me a scan to see if everything’s ok. Not the GP or NUPAS or EPU or Maternity seem to be able to help me.

Since I’ve been here I have started bleeding which is not a great sign. But I didn't bleed within the first 48hours of taking it so I have no idea.

Hi Rebecca,

I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you gentle hugs this morning, I can hear how upsetting this is for you. How are you feeling today, what are your symptoms physically today from the medical termination pill? How's your mental wellbeing?

Mifepristone, the first pill you take in a medication abortion, binds to progesterone receptors and blocks your uterus' and placenta's ability to recognise your body's progesterone. When this happens, the sustaining lining of your uterus begins to break down. The first step is to get an appointment with your GP or termination clinic as they will be able to scan to determine if you still have a viable pregnancy.

If you cannot contact them Rebecca then you could contact the NHS 111 service for help. I'll add the link to their termination information site here.

Abortion - What happens - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

I know some of our community members will be able to relate and hopefully they will be along shortly to share their own experiences too.

Do keep chatting and let us know how you are,

Take care,

Emma

Hi Emma,

I've started to bleed quite a bit this morning, and mentally not in a very good place. This is without a doubt the biggest mistake of my life and I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for it.

Currently sat waiting for a scan at a hospital to see if the pregnancy is still viable (despite the bleeding).

I tried the GP, the abortion clinic and 111 and I was just passed around everyone. Nobody seems to care. I only managed to get in for a scan because I begged someone at gynaecology.

Hi Rebecca,

We've moved your thread to our maternal mental health board, as we think it's a more appropriate place for this topic and you’re more likely to get responses here.

Hi Rebecca

I'm Catherine, one of Emma's colleagues here at Netmums. Thank you for coming back to us. I'm sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time trying to get some support and advice - sending you a gentle hug.

Can I ask how you're feeling this evening? It sounds like it has been a tough couple of days so please be gentle with yourself. Have you anyone around who knows what has been going on to support you? I can see you've had a wee bit of support from our community and hopefully more will be along soon to offer their support but in the meantime, please come back to us if you want to chat some more.

Take care

Catherine

Hi Cathrine,

we finally got home at around 1pm today. The hospital ran a fair few tests and my hgc levels were over 10,000 still but they couldn’t tell me for certain whether I could save the embryo it or not. The best answer I could get was that ‘it isn’t likely’.

I ended up finishing the course of abortion tablets (before the window of time in which I could take them closed) which has been incredibly painful both physically and emotionally. They say that it’s just like a period, but that is an absolute understatement. It’s more like having your insides twisted and ripped out.

If there’s anyone out here reading this considering abortion, please think very carefully about your choice. The minute I took the tablet it was instant regret, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fix it.

Please give yourself some time.

This will forever be the story of the first child I’ve had with the man that I love, and I cannot take back what’s happened. Please please think about your choice before you’re stupid like me and make the wrong choice. Losing a child by your own hand is by far the worst experience of my life. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy.

All my love to you all x

Sending you so much love, what a horrible situation 💔 you tried your best to save the pregnancy, you couldn't have done any more than you have, please be gentle with yourself xx

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too had an abortion. Circumstances were different however I regretted it. The tablets didn’t work for me so I ended up having a surgical termination. I remember sitting on the toilet afterwards thinking “what have I done?” The guilt and sadness was unreal. All I can say to you is to let yourself feel all of the emotions. I actually wrote a letter to my baby and it helped enormously. Let yourself grieve. I hope that you are ok. I am now 7 years on and I still think about the baby, what he/she would be doing. How old they’d be now! So much love ❤️ to you right now xxx

Hi Lydia,

Thank you so much for your advice and kind words. I just don’t know how to live with myself after this. I can’t even look in the mirror because I’m so terribly ashamed of what I've done. It’s a struggle right now to even breathe.

Bec I’m so sorry to read your story, I’ve never had an abortion but I have lost a pregnancy, so I know some of the pain you’re feeling. It’s easier said than done I know but you made this choice for a reason - try to remember what I’m sure were very good reasons. You did what you thought was right for your family at the time. Your hormones will be all over the place, on top of the feelings of guilt. Take care of yourself and take the time to heal and grieve. You can’t change what’s happened, but it can shape your future. If you want a baby you can try again, but give yourself time before rushing into any decisions based on emotion. Time is a great healer, and you will feel better. Wishing you all the best xx