Domestic abuse

Hi Tiziana,

I'm Katie, one of the Parent Supporters here.

You have been so brave to seek that help for yourself and your child and I can hear that now your ex is blaming you for calling the police - but you absolutely did the right thing. Please never doubt that.

You have kept your child safe and protected them from further abuse, you are a fantastic mum.

I can hear that you are now feeling worried as he has been bailed and it is really important that you are safe. Tiziana, do you have a contact number for an officer who was in charge of your case?

If so, please do give them a call and ask them for some support.

You may be entitled to an injunction to keep him away from you and your child. You can also talk to the NCDV about that too How To Make a Referral For An Injunction · NCDV

Victim Support are also another agency that can offer you help and advice Contact us - Victim Support Please do get in touch with them, you deserve to be able to talk to someone safely and confidentially.

You are also welcome to keep chatting with us here.

Tiziana, if you feel unsafe at any time, please do call 101 if it is not an emergency or 999 if it is an emergency.

Katie x

Hi Katie

Thank you for all Yr advice, however I have tried all.the aforementioned and to be fair nothing!!

I have a sociL worker to whom I can never get hold of or when u do she has no time to talk or the help she promises never materialises. My child is also at risk of exclusion from school so he's having to be sent to another school to try and reset the behaviour displays he's displaying, and noone wants to test for adhd or autism based on the symptoms he's disYing they are all saying it's trauma based and in time he will grow out of it.

My head is ready to explode, I've got. Roller coaster of emotions running around and I'm not sure if I want to cry, shout, or just hide away and hope the world falls down around me.... I don't want to be bothered with work and I have no interest in doing it even though its a job I really love , I'm constantly crying and hiding this away from my child trying to stay strong, but it's impacting my while life and I need help to try and figure out the right path for me to get back to normal somehow. ....

Hi Tizzi,

I recently went to the police for similar reasons and feel a lot like you do I imagine. If you ever want to chat you can message me. Women’s aid have a survivors forum that you can join and chat to. Have the police allocated you or referred you to an IDVA?

I have gone no contact and have bail conditions in place that have kept him at bay.

We share a 5mth old and I have two older boys so like you their safety is paramount.

I feel as if I’m going mad and not believed but my Idva has had special training and really understands.

lots of love

xx

Tizzy I feel your pain. My partner left today no police but it was at the point where my wellbeing worker and her manager came to tell him to go or that would be happening. Hes gone but I feel really defeated.as with you he blames me not his behaviour or the things he's done or said. I'm surprised tbh it didn't go worse but having to tell or children today was... super fun. I know how you feel with your son too my eldest has been half investigated then they kicked him out of the service due to missed appointments I never recieved. I feel sometimes like all we do is fight this never ending battle with everyone and it leaves you running on empty.wish o could offer more advice but this is all pretty new to me too but just to let you know your not alone.