Children miss out because of their behaviour
5 answers /
Last post: 09/04/2023 at 10:07 pm
So I just took my 7 year old autistic son and almost 4 year old daughter away on holiday. They knew we were going and had been very excited. I had planned swimming in a pool with flumes, a day at a theme park, canoeing and soft play over the 5 days we were due to be away.
We arrived 5pm, they both had the attitude that the air bnb was crap. My son was upset that there wasn’t a bath and my daughter said there wasn’t any toys despite me asking her to take her own which she refused to do, I took some but apparently not the right ones! My children had to share the comfortable bed whilst I dozed on the very uncomfortable sofa bed. I hardly slept it was so bad. My daughter kept waking and shouting me or disturbing her brother. They were both up at 4am and so began the screaming, crying, walking out of the flat, demanding to go home, telling me how rubbish and boring the holiday was and they never want to go on holiday again. By 6am we took the dog for a walk to try and distract them until it was time to head out for the day. 4 year old was crying, 7 year old was shouting to go home. I had to literally drag them back into the Airbnb. Then they started screaming and crying as loudly as possible and my son walked back out and pulled on the car door handle until I opened it. By 8am I had checked out and was on the way home! I feel so broken and useless! I was looking forward to our first family holiday and now I’ve spent all morning crying and vowing to never take them anywhere ever again! They are now back at home and not in the slightest bit sorry, in fact in their opinion I’m the bad guy and it’s all my fault! My son decided that he wanted to continue the holiday after having a bath at home to which I told him very clearly that was never an option and it was his choice to come home. My daughter also announced that she is now ready for her day out but again, I explained very clearly that if we went home we couldn’t do any of the holiday plans! They chose to come home. I have managed to get a partial refund but am still down £300 for less than 24 hours away! We were literally out of the house for 22.5 hours in total! 5 hours of that was driving there and home!
Last year I went on a romantic weekend away without them and they made me feel rubbish about it and why they couldn’t come. Then when I do take them to do anything nice they can’t behave or are just down right ungrateful! I can literally buy them new clothes or a toy and they will sit there and tell me that I didn’t buy them anything and they should have more.
How am I supposed to take them somewhere nice when they literally behave like the most entitled children on the planet?! I’m also so embarrassed that the entire street could hear my children acting the fool from 4am onwards. I understand they were tired but I had told them to go back to bed and they were just messing around instead! Their behaviour and demands were the reason we came home but neither one seems to have any understanding of that! Rant over.
Sadly it's just something to put down to experience, maybe they can't manage a holiday? Maybe all the change is just too much?
I feel your pain.. My autistic daughter can't even manage the shops at the moment.
Maybe try again one day just book one night, make sure it has a bath and ask your daughter what toys she wants to take? Remind them you had to come home last time..
When we have gone away in the past I've taken their blankets and everything to make them feel comfortable and have familiar things around them.
Sadly it's just something to put down to experience, maybe they can't manage a holiday? Maybe all the change is just too much?
I feel your pain.. My autistic daughter can't even manage the shops at the moment.
Maybe try again one day just book one night, make sure it has a bath and ask your daughter what toys she wants to take? Remind them you had to come home last time..
When we have gone away in the past I've taken their blankets and everything to make them feel comfortable and have familiar things around them.
The thing is my children stay with my mum when I work 12 hour shifts and she doesn’t have a bath. He’s fine without a bath at hers for the weekend.
I think you’re right though, it was too much. Next year we will try again but I’m going to book a 3 bedroom house instead of 1 bed flat. They need their own rooms because otherwise they wind each other up. I have already made a list of requirements for next time.
We are also driving back later on in the week to visit the theme park but heading home same day so fingers crossed that goes well.
The thing is my children stay with my mum when I work 12 hour shifts and she doesn’t have a bath. He’s fine without a bath at hers for the weekend.
I think you’re right though, it was too much. Next year we will try again but I’m going to book a 3 bedroom house instead of 1 bed flat. They need their own rooms because otherwise they wind each other up. I have already made a list of requirements for next time.
We are also driving back later on in the week to visit the theme park but heading home same day so fingers crossed that goes well.
I really hope it goes well at the theme park for you x
I find it's just trial and error, sometimes my daughter can cope with things other times she can't and like you say seperate rooms is always a good plan my youngest son only has to walk into the room and my daughter is triggered.
Wishing you all the best.
They were just probably trying to adapt with the change. I only have a 5 years old and he isn't autistic but I relate to being unhappy while on holiday and having non-logical requests all the time. I cannot talk about autistic kids as I have no experience whatsoever, but regarding the 4 years old, I would just leave her cry it out and then move on with the holiday. I have done same with my son, it barely looks like a holiday to us, and with another on the way I don't expect it to get better, but at least we can spend some days away from home. And regarding the solo trip, do it as often you can, don't feel guilty, you deserve it, you also need time off to gather yourself. We have started doing this once per year, first time was feeling so guilty but then noticed we also needed it.