2 losses, is there any hope?😢
5 answers /
Last post: 03/04/2023 at 10:45 am
Currently having the worst 7 months of my life.
last year on 19th September 2022 i gave birth to my beautiful baby girl at 22 weeks. We found out at the 20 week scan that she had only half a heart among other issues, she was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The heartbreak and shock was unbelievable as we have 3 healthy children with no issues. Many specialists visits later it wasn’t good news. She lived for 1 minute only and then passed peacefully. I will never be the same after losing her, the pain is unbearable, the only thing that had got me through is my Husband and 3 other children. Fast forward to January 2023, unbelievably we found out we were pregnant again, we weren’t trying exactly but baby was very much wanted, it actually helped to cope with losing my baby girl (never to replace her). I went for an early scan at 8 weeks as hardly had any symptoms which is unusual for me and baby had no heartbeat, so missed miscarriage. First miscarriage ever. Weeks passed, so many hospital visits. Opted for medically managed twice over, no good so at 12 weeks pregnant had an MVA. Which brings me to now. 4 weeks post MVA, possibly just coming to the end of 1st period. No history of health issues with me or husband. Desperately want to try again but absolutely petrified. Im going to be 35 this year so time isn’t on my side. Is there any hope?? Xx
Hi Danielle,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you a big hug this morning, you have been through such horrible losses and I can hear how scary this must feel to try to conceive again. You said, 'Is there any hope?', there definitely is Danielle. You mentioned you and your partner have no previous health issues and your age shouldn't work against you as many Mums now try to conceive later in life and successfully.
Danielle, have you received any counselling support for the loss of your babies? The Lullaby Trust offer free expert help, they have a chat line or email you can connect with, 0808 802 6868. Bereavement support after the death of a baby or child - The Lullaby Trust
Being able to unpick the complex losses you have experienced recently may help you feel more able mentally and physically to want to try again with conception. How are you feeling now you have come to the end of your first period? I know your story will resonate with some of our community members, hopefully they will be along shortly to share their own stories too.
Do come back and let us know how you are getting on Danielle.
Take care,
Emma
Hi Danielle,
We've moved your thread to our maternal mental health board, as we think it's a more appropriate place for this topic and you’re more likely to get responses here.
Hi Danielle,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you a big hug this morning, you have been through such horrible losses and I can hear how scary this must feel to try to conceive again. You said, 'Is there any hope?', there definitely is Danielle. You mentioned you and your partner have no previous health issues and your age shouldn't work against you as many Mums now try to conceive later in life and successfully.
Danielle, have you received any counselling support for the loss of your babies? The Lullaby Trust offer free expert help, they have a chat line or email you can connect with, 0808 802 6868. Bereavement support after the death of a baby or child - The Lullaby Trust
Being able to unpick the complex losses you have experienced recently may help you feel more able mentally and physically to want to try again with conception. How are you feeling now you have come to the end of your first period? I know your story will resonate with some of our community members, hopefully they will be along shortly to share their own stories too.
Do come back and let us know how you are getting on Danielle.
Take care,
Emma
I think 1st period has come to an end. I’m still so scared that this miscarriage isn’t over for me. (Previously had retained placenta after my angel was born that resulted in me haemorrhaging 3 weeks after birth due to remaining tissue) As the bleeding has stopped The hope for the future is coming back, but so is the fear and anxiety. All my children mean the absolute world to me and I desperately want another baby. Being a mother is what i want out of life (i know different people have different ambitions) now the bleeding has stopped im looking forward to the future, maybe after i get abit healthier in myself we can try agin this summer. All i can do is pray every night and be grateful for each day x
I think 1st period has come to an end. I’m still so scared that this miscarriage isn’t over for me. (Previously had retained placenta after my angel was born that resulted in me haemorrhaging 3 weeks after birth due to remaining tissue) As the bleeding has stopped The hope for the future is coming back, but so is the fear and anxiety. All my children mean the absolute world to me and I desperately want another baby. Being a mother is what i want out of life (i know different people have different ambitions) now the bleeding has stopped im looking forward to the future, maybe after i get abit healthier in myself we can try agin this summer. All i can do is pray every night and be grateful for each day x
Hi Danielle,
Thank you for taking the time to reply and let us know how you are. It's completely normal to feel scared and anxious given your history, the possibilities of what awaits you in your future are worth facing the fear as you sound like an incredibly loving and caring Mum who has a lot more to give. Ensure to keep reaching out for support at this time and look after yourself.
Will be thinking of you along your journey and wishing you all the best Danielle.
Take care,
Emma