So mixed up
3 answers /
Last post: 16/04/2023 at 8:33 pm
I started a relationship with someone in July 2021 and it ended October 2022 it was a domestic abusive relationship and ever since then it's broken me quite recently I've been thinking about giving my 6 year old nearly 7 year old daughter to her dad full time I'm not sure what has broken in my head as a parent because I remember how much i wanted my little girl when I was pregnant and now I'm not sure if being a mother is what I want anymore my whole life since the age of 13 I've pretty much been responsible and now I've had a taste for freedom being a full time parent I'm not sure is what i want anymore and maybe part time I'm so mixed up and feel so broken I feel like a horrendous excuse for a mother I'm so so lost
Hi Kelly,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you gentle hugs this evening, I can hear how upset and distressed this relationship and break up has left you. It sounds like it was a very traumatic relationship and you are now left dealing with the shrapnel from it all.
You mentioned you have recently, ' ...been thinking about giving my 6 year old nearly 7 year old daughter to her dad full time I'm not sure what has broken in my head as a parent.' It sounds like the weight of parenting has become too much right now with your recent turmoil and you need support Kelly. I wonder, do you have any family or friends you can lean on to help you at this time? Practically with your little one and emotionally?
Is your daughters Dad able to help out more? I'm aware your recent split was only a matter of months ago and it takes time to heal from the end of a relationship, especially when domestic abuse has been involved. Abusive relationships can leave you feeling lost and incapable of what you once felt capable of, it will take time to feel like 'you' again and gain the confidence you had. Kelly, have you heard of our support partnership with Womens' Aid? They are a great free service providing expert advice and help on exactly this type of situation. I will link them here if you want to connect, their 'Survivors Handbook' is really relatable too. I've left and I need support - Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)
Hopefully some of our other lovely community members will be along shortly too to offer their own experiences and guidance.
Do keep chatting here if we can help any more.
Take care,
Emma
Hi Kelly,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you gentle hugs this evening, I can hear how upset and distressed this relationship and break up has left you. It sounds like it was a very traumatic relationship and you are now left dealing with the shrapnel from it all.
You mentioned you have recently, ' ...been thinking about giving my 6 year old nearly 7 year old daughter to her dad full time I'm not sure what has broken in my head as a parent.' It sounds like the weight of parenting has become too much right now with your recent turmoil and you need support Kelly. I wonder, do you have any family or friends you can lean on to help you at this time? Practically with your little one and emotionally?
Is your daughters Dad able to help out more? I'm aware your recent split was only a matter of months ago and it takes time to heal from the end of a relationship, especially when domestic abuse has been involved. Abusive relationships can leave you feeling lost and incapable of what you once felt capable of, it will take time to feel like 'you' again and gain the confidence you had. Kelly, have you heard of our support partnership with Womens' Aid? They are a great free service providing expert advice and help on exactly this type of situation. I will link them here if you want to connect, their 'Survivors Handbook' is really relatable too. I've left and I need support - Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)
Hopefully some of our other lovely community members will be along shortly too to offer their own experiences and guidance.
Do keep chatting here if we can help any more.
Take care,
Emma
Thankyou so much for your response he keeps luring me back and I chose to speak to social services because I've allowed him back in my life and he won't work with them he won't prove he is safe to be around I know he's never harmed a child but has domestic abuse of his record from previous partners how can he tell me he loves me but he doesn't want a relationship with me I don't know what Is reality and what's not anymore