How do I know if bf is taking cocain

Hi Georgina,

I'm Katie, I remember talking to you before when you first noticed the messages and were wondering how to handle the situation.

It sounds like things are still the same and you have the same concerns.

How is your relationship generally? Are you finding that his moods are unpredictable?

Are things happening at home that raise your worries around cocaine being a factor?

Generally, our gut instincts are really good at telling us when something isn't right. Do you feel safe at home Georgina?

Katie x

Hi Georgina,

We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - unhealthy relationships board, so you can get the advice and support you need

You can get drug tests on amazon

Just look at Ukraines President Zelenskyy , he’s constantly sniffing

You can usually tell by a persons nose it usually dips in on the side especially if they only sniff using one side. If you can touch the side of his nose without him knowing why… you would definitely be able to tell if he is a long term user as cocaine rots away a persons cartilage making the side of their nose feel very thin almost as though it could collapse. Personally I would just ask him straight to his face you have children so have every right to ask as you need to what kind of person is around your kids.

Generally, someone who is on cocaine can seem to have more energy than usual, not have much of an appetite and may have trouble sleeping. Their pupils might be dilated. There can be mood swings and particularly if they are a heavy user some withdrawals.

If he was using cocaine you might find small square folded pieces of magazines/paper (used for packaging) or curly bank notes (that would have been rolled into tubes to sniff through).

I would be very surprised if you had no idea he was using cocaine regularly (if he is), you can usually tell something is amiss even if you don't know what to look out for. Although having said that if he is a high functioning user it may be harder to spot especially if he has always seemed consistent- real addicts can be good at hiding their habits.

Have you had a conversation about it with him at all? Is it having an impact on you and/or your children ie. Financially? The way he treats you? Is he keeping drugs in the house or bringing trouble to your door? If you are unhappy in any way or you truly suspect him of using drugs and you aren't into that maybe it would be best for you and especially your kids to move on. Just bear in mind that if someone is an addict, as much as you want to help them, only they can help themselves- you will not save someone who doesn't want saving.

Hope you get some useful answers and have the strength to do what is best for you and your kids xx

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Hi Georgina,

What a difficult situation for you to be in, at least if you know you can then make a plan to tackle the issue, but not knowing if he is taking cocaine or not, you are in limbo, you can't solve a problem if you aren't sure what the problem is.

Unfortunately, cocaine played a big part in ending a relationship I was in many years ago, so I understand how you must be feeling right now.

So your question, signs to look for....

Physical items to check...

credit/debit cards along the edges, if he uses them to chop his cocaine there can be residue on the edges.

Look for cut up straws,

Check any £ notes, do the look like they have been rolled up (been used for snorting) feel for residue.

Look for any other equipment, have you seen a little tin on him, does he carry a small mirror about, razor blades.

Check for little plastic bags or small bits of cling film.

His physical appearance...

Look at his eyes are his pupils dilated? Are they dark, withdrawn?

Has he lost weight?

Does he have runny nose or nose bleeds?

His behaviour....

does he pop to the toilet a lot?

Does he pop out the house a lot? Maybe saying he's popping to the shop, after a text or phone call.

Has his appetite reduced?

Is his sleep pattern odd?

Sudden mood swings?

Any odd, violent behaviour?

Unexplained elated mood?

Sudden boost in confidence, feeling superior "king of the world"

Does he get very talkative, excitable maybe ramble on about nonsense?

Has he dropped interests or hobbies he used to have?I

Is his sex drive raised? Does he want to engage in more risky or kinky sex? (This was the first & biggest sign of cocaine use with my ex)

At times of withdrawal...

Does he suffer bouts of exhaustion,

complain of body aches & pain or feeling chilly?

does he get the tremors?

Does he struggle with concentration?

This isn't everything, there are so many, mainly follow your gut, it will probably be right.

I hope you get your answer soon & you can work out what to do.

Take care

Ex user here and partner unfortunately still takes. Heres what i experienced. Constantly sniffing(with a runny nose if he has not long had a line but could be dry if it was over a couple of hours before), pupils blown wide or they could be pinprick (all depends on the strength of the gear) VERY talkative(and chats nothing but ***** and jumps from one topic to the next very easily), their jaw will move like they're eating something or chewing gum even though they are not, the loss of appetite is a myth as it all depends on the strength of the gear. Sometimes it affects appetites but not always. Sometimes they will have a white residue around their nostrils if they haven't cleaned properly, loose rolled bits of paper i.e banknote, receipt or lottery ticket, a mirror, cd case or anything flat that has a white powdery sheen on it or looks like it has recently been cleaned that you haven't done.

I'm also sure you can get drug testing kits from amazon that you might be able to discreetly use on him. Good luck

Also forgot to mention that his eyes could be red rimmed with a glassy sheen.