I feel mentally drained and I haven't even had the baby
4 answers /
Last post: 08/04/2023 at 3:05 pm
I am 35 weeks pregnant, live at home. When I found out I was pregnant, my ex partner and I decided to keep the child, save and try and get our own place as my mother's house is overcrowded and we just wanted our own space. Fast forward now ive saved but not enough, ive bought everything for the baby with no support or contribution from my partner and we are now not together. I have been looking for housing but no one been getting back to me, dead ends for the last few months. I am grateful I can still stay with my mum but I feel like a failure, I feel like ive let my child down, bringing them to an environment where i dont feel like there is stability. I feel disappointed at how hard ive genuinely worked hard month after month, working full time, going to viewings after work on the weekends, getting rejected as i dont earn enough by myself and still bouncing back. I feel resentful towards my ex partner because i feel let down and l feel hurt at how he left me to deal with everything. I feel like a burden to my mother staying at hers with a baby. I broke down today as i received one more rejection. Im not one to post of these threads or show my emotions but i feel so defeated and i feel conflicted because i also think there are other people in a worse position. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. Am i being self centred, am i being too soft? i just dont know.
Hi Valerie
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters hers at Netmums. Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have had a lot going on lately so sending you a big hug this evening.
Valerie, you are definitely not 'self centred' nor 'soft'. From what you have shared, it sounds as if you have worked so hard and tried everything you can to be prepared and ready for baby but things haven't worked out and you feel disheartened and disappointed. Does that sound right? Please don't feel like a 'failure' or that you 'ive let my child down'. Y ou are laying down the foundations you need to provide for your little one when he or she arrives but life is going to look a bit different than you had planned and you have had to adjust and mould to that new future. All of that takes a lot of strength and determination.
Have you been able to have a chat to your mum and let her know how you are feeling? If she has happy for you to stay with baby for a little while, perhaps it would take some pressure off and let you save some more for the right home for you and your little one? I wonder too if you could have a chat to your midwife and let them know how you are feeling? They may know of some local supports available to you as well.
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon too but please come back to us if you would like to chat some more
Take care
Catherine
Hi Valerie
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters hers at Netmums. Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you have had a lot going on lately so sending you a big hug this evening.
Valerie, you are definitely not 'self centred' nor 'soft'. From what you have shared, it sounds as if you have worked so hard and tried everything you can to be prepared and ready for baby but things haven't worked out and you feel disheartened and disappointed. Does that sound right? Please don't feel like a 'failure' or that you 'ive let my child down'. Y ou are laying down the foundations you need to provide for your little one when he or she arrives but life is going to look a bit different than you had planned and you have had to adjust and mould to that new future. All of that takes a lot of strength and determination.
Have you been able to have a chat to your mum and let her know how you are feeling? If she has happy for you to stay with baby for a little while, perhaps it would take some pressure off and let you save some more for the right home for you and your little one? I wonder too if you could have a chat to your midwife and let them know how you are feeling? They may know of some local supports available to you as well.
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon too but please come back to us if you would like to chat some more
Take care
Catherine
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your response.
Your right in saying I feel disheartened and disappointed. I’ve genuinely tried so hard and this last rejection with housing and with everything else not working out has hit me quite hard and I’ve struggled to bounce back because I know the baby is gonna be here soon.
Ive spoken with my mother about how I’m feeling and if she is happy for me to stay but I just feel guilty because she still works and all my siblings at home work too. I don’t want any of them to feel like we are disrupting their life.
I haven’t spoken to my midwife because I just didn’t know how to approach the situation and tell them. I will try on my next visit.
Thank you again for responding to me.
Valerie x
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your response.
Your right in saying I feel disheartened and disappointed. I’ve genuinely tried so hard and this last rejection with housing and with everything else not working out has hit me quite hard and I’ve struggled to bounce back because I know the baby is gonna be here soon.
Ive spoken with my mother about how I’m feeling and if she is happy for me to stay but I just feel guilty because she still works and all my siblings at home work too. I don’t want any of them to feel like we are disrupting their life.
I haven’t spoken to my midwife because I just didn’t know how to approach the situation and tell them. I will try on my next visit.
Thank you again for responding to me.
Valerie x
Hi .
Congratulations on soon tobe baby ..ps your hormones will be ragging high n low without added pressure of idiot ex!
So give ya self a pat on the back....
For first few months you might like having company and your mum n siblings help so being at your mums has that advantage.
Ring the local council get put on their housing list hopefully they will help you once baby hear.
Being single parent can be hard work so surround yourself with friends or family and once baby born join some mummy's groups.
Good luck.