Help 42 terminate or not
7 answers /
Last post: 18/04/2023 at 1:15 am
Hi all I’ve been stupid I thought I was peri menopausal, I’m 7weeks 3 days pregnant and just had my scan yesterday, I’m separated from my husband and have 3 kids already 22 11 8. My partner and I did not expect this he’s 48 and sadly on the recovery of alcoholism in rehab right now, he’s doing great but….yeh I know what your thinking 😞 we’re very much in love and I know if we had our own family it would be everything I’ve never had before, my ex and I were toxic together he never wanted any of our children so my pregnancies were sad and lonely experiences.
bottom line we’re too old…I’ll be 43 in august I’m a single parent already (my partner and I don’t live together) and I’m in my first year at uni as a student nurse! I’m terrified of the abortion I have mental health issues already and every morning I wake up feeling dread and despair just now. I have no family to support me and a few close friends only I am literally so alone, they won’t give me a surgical termination and I have to stay in hospital for the medical because I have no one to help me at home this is all just a mess…what should I do there’s no support I’m at a loss
Hi Clare,
We've moved your thread into our drop-in clinic - maternal mental health board, so you can get the advice and support you need
Hi Clare,
I'm Emma, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Sending you a big hug this morning, I can hear how upsetting and distressing this is for you and a complete surprise to be in this situation.
It sounds like you are in a good place in your life where you are 'very much in love' with your partner, have three wonderful children already and in your first year at Uni studying to be a Nurse, that's fantastic to hear, especially after what you went through with your ex husband Clare. I hope you are really proud of yourself and your achievements.
I understand this must have taken a lot to come to this decision to terminate this pregnancy and the unknown can be scary. Your situation is one that will resonate with many of our community members, have you had a chance to look though our other threads on this Clare? You will see people who have gone through the termination process and found it to be a better experience than they anticipated. Some people may experience period like cramps, bleeding varies for many people but the hospital will make you as comfortable and supported as possible.
Have you reached out to their counselling support offered at the NHS Clare before you begin? It may be worth talking through with a professional all of your concerns to support you through this experience. Don't be afraid to ask any questions to the medical team beforehand and during your stay there.
Hopefully some of our other community members will be along shortly to share their experiences with you.
Take care,
Emma
I am 46 amd just had my 4th child. I love him more than anything. I am not too old. I had my third baby when I was 42 and never felt old then.
I've been a single mum and now I'm.not ,but I'd never change anything. I feel blessed to have them all.
I read your words, but just the first few sentences and was compelled to message.
I just think don't live with regrets. Think alot harder before you make the decision.
It's actually a miracle your pregnant too.
Hope you make a decision that's right for you xx hugs
Hi Clare,
Please think about this very well before you terminate the pregnancy. You are not too old, mostly in this country. I have met guys in their 50s ready to have children and all my girlfriends, most of them over 35 looking to have children later. I know you're terrified to be alone and raise another child yourself, however, you will not regret having your baby. It might sound like a cliché but a child it's truly a blessing. I m also a single mum and grateful for my child every single day.
There will always be difficult situations in one's life, and the only constant love and comfort you'll have will be them- your children. You'll see that with time things will settle, you'll finish your studies and move forward in life.
I wish you the best x
It's a baby 👶 you've had 3 already alone and that was with a husband you have a guy who will love to have a child there's a big chance it'll be a big wake up call for him to get his act together I really could list a load of positives about this age is one of them as you have the best experience x 3 to do the roll if your only negative is age then please believe me your far from too old to become a mum good luck I hope you can see how right I am and in years to come when you both have your fantastic son or daughter please remember me xx
Hello Clare,
I'm so sorry your having this dilemma. I'm in the US and at 7 weeks they will terminate however if they won't where you are and it's something you are certain you want and or need to do for the well-being of all, you may want to look into some natural methods. Apologies if it sounds harsh as it's not my intention. I've personally been TTC with my partner for 4 yrs now as natural as possible however we are both "mature" in "age" therefore it would be a miracle.
If you have no resources or family friends to support you it can be like climbing a mountain. My prayers and positive energy to you and your family and future. I'm sorry I don't really have a solution. Just know you've got support in spirit from afar🙏🏾✨🙏🏾