Joanna Lovell
Associate EditorThe mum says parents put too much pressure on themselves to 'fill' their children's time and instead, the 'magic happens' when children are left to create their own fun
A mum has told other parents they should give their kids 'more freedom' to find ways to entertain themselves, instead of filling up all their time for them.
And she says their 'free time' should often be spent away from screens, too. Plus, she says they should be allowed to get bored.
Adele Cleaver, a mum of two from Birmingham says play should be led by kids, not adults, and says if children can entertain themselves, it will take the pressure off time-poor parents.
The former playworker has written a book called Children Don't Dissolve in the Rain , which is part-memoir and part-parenting book, suggesting we rethink our expectations as parents.
'We have a lot of pressure on us as parents to be doing stuff all the time'
She says rather than filling every moment with activities, clubs and days out, children should be allowed the time where they have to amuse themselves.
'As a society, we're fixated on productivity and time-keeping, we have a lot of pressure on us as parents to be doing stuff all the time,' the mum-of-two told Birmingham Mail.
'My mum's generation was different. She said they had one playgroup a week at the church hall and that was it.
'The rest of the time, you were on your own, at home, pottering around with your kids.
'I know how important doing nothing for our children is'
'Now there is an industry dedicated to filling childhood with activities and I think we're the first generation that have had to contend with childhood as a commercial realm.
'That puts pressure on us to fill that time because now suddenly we're being spoon fed all these activities and days out.
'When do you just sit with your kids and watch what they are doing? That's something I think our generation has lost. I know how important doing nothing for our children is.'
When Adele became a parent, she said she prioritised free play as a way of giving herself more time to rest and relax and to help her children learn how important free play is.
'Leaving children to come up with their own ways to play is when the magic happens'
Adele says that filling every moment of our children’s time with activities isn't necessarily helpful – and that leaving children to come up with their own ways to play is when the 'magic happens.'
Most importantly, she says it’s OK for parents to just step back and let them get on with it, even if they fail, because this learning will set them in good stead for the future.
She added: 'I think we can see that a lot of children are really worn out, over stimulated, being given a lot of information and no time to process it.
'Play is a way for them to process. It's a space where adults sit at the side and let their children play in the space you have created.
'In free play, a child might build something that falls down several times and they have the time and space to try to fix it.'
The mum said children are more capable than parents give them credit for, and says children grow confident when they play in a way that's meaningful to them.
Find out more about Adele's book via her Big Blue Play website , where you can order copies. Her book is also available on Amazon .
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