A more gentle approach to sleep training your baby is the 'pick up, put down' routine. While this is a 'no tears' method, it does require patience. Here's how to do it

Although the 'pick up, put down' method is one of the more time consuming sleep training routines, Cleveland Clinic says that it can make getting your baby to sleep easier for parents. If you're feeling frazzled by your baby's frustratingly short naps, or struggling to get them to doze off in the first place, you may find the 'pick up, put down' method helpful.

We've dug into the research, with input from the NHS and sleep expert Andrea Grace , to find out what the 'pick up, put down' method is, whether it works, and how to try it for yourself.

Includes:

• What is the 'pick up, put down' method?
• Pick up, put down – who is it suitable for?
• Does the pick up, put down method work for older babies?
• How to do the 'pick up, put down' method
• Pick up, put down: does it work?
• ‘Pick up, put down' method: tips for success
• Pick up, put down technique at four-months-old
• Pick up, put down technique at five to six-months-old
• How to adapt 'pick up, put down' for your six to eight-month-old
• How to adapt 'pick up, put down' for your eight to 12-month-old

What is the 'pick up, put down' method?

Many parents prefer the 'pick up, put down' method to controlled crying , because it allows you to soothe your baby when they wake up. The main points are:

• If your baby is crying in their Moses basket or cot during their nap or at bedtime, you pick them up and comfort them until they are sleepy. You then put them them down to sleep.
• If they are still fussing or crying, you repeat the cycle until your baby is asleep.

Before you get started with this method – or any sleep training technique – Andrea says:

‘With any kind of sleep training, it’s really good to always start it at the beginning of the night. That’s when your baby has got all the sleep hormones in place and his internal circadian clock is set to send him to sleep.’

Also make sure you’ve ruled out any underlying issues such as reflux or colic that could be affecting your little one’s sleep.

Pick up, put down – who is it suitable for?

This method requires a LOT of patience and, as with all the sleep training techniques, doesn't suit every baby... or parent. Some babies find it overstimulating rather than soothing.

However, it's popular with parents who are keen for more gentle approaches to sleep training than controlled crying for example.

Andrea says:

‘This pick up, put down sleep training method is good for a younger baby who responds to your touch when you pick him up, reassure him and then put back down, particularly if you leave your hand on him.’

Does the pick up, put down method work for older babies?

According to Andrea, this baby sleep technique may not be as effective for older babies and toddlers. She says:

‘For an older baby, when you pick him up it may signal to him that you are going to either take him out of the bedroom or feed him.

'When you then put him down again, he might find it very frustrating that they are not doing what he thought you were doing.’

How to do the 'pick up, put down' method

According to sleep training guidance from the NHS , these are the steps to follow for the pick up, put down technique...

1 If your baby cries when you first put them down, put your hand on their chest gently and reassure them with a 'Shhhh' or key phrase you always use like, ‘It's sleepy time'.

2 If that doesn't soothe them, pick them up and repeat the key phrase.

3 When they stop crying, but are still awake, put them back down in their cot. If they start crying on the way down, put them in anyway.

4 If they are still crying, pick them up again. Repeat this process until you can see signs that your baby is settling (for example, their cries are getting weaker).

5 When you see this settling behaviour, don’t pick them up anymore. Leave them in their cot, place your hand on them and say your key phrase.

6 Leave the room.

7 If your baby starts crying again, repeat the process as many times as needed until they are asleep.

Pick up, put down: does it work?

The hope is your baby will eventually associate your key phrase or 'shhhh' with going to sleep. But every baby is different so don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t work for you.

Some Netmums users have shared their experiences with the 'pick up, put down' method in the forum:

• 'I used the pick up and put down method and yes it was hard work, i never once left him to cry it out, I just simply picked him up when he cried and then placed him back in his cot. It took 2 weeks before he would stay down without crying' – Cla41wrz
• 'After so many months of no sleep i committed myself to the pick up put down method, my 5 1/2 month old has gone from having to be held at night to happily sleeping in his cot!!! with no tears! sleep at last' – Tracy W(242)
• 'I think the key is distinguishing between grumbling and crying - which with a second child you’re probably well tuned into! I found it worked better if I left lo when he was just grumbling but picked up when he was actually upset.' – Victoria M(859)
• 'My 6 month old doesn't get PUPD a lot, everytime I pick him up he starts to squirm and rub his face to my shoulder, it takes ages to calm him to a state where I can put him down  again and if I do, he starts to scream.' – Ive49ibk
• 'i found the PUPD didn't work for my 4 month baby, but shhh pat worked a treat...I just gave her less and less help during a period of a week and a half and now I can pop her in her cot after wind down and she'll put herself to sleep.' – hub83knf
• 'I have changed our approach now as PUPD seemed to aggravate him. I started holding him in his bed like is outlined in the gradual retreat technique. By this evening he will now accept just my hand and some shushing which is great.' – Aqys58zau

'Pick up, put down' method: tips for success

According to the NHS , you should wait until your baby is six months before introducing any sleep training.

The NHS suggests the following top tips for the ‘pick up, put down’ method:

• Have a calming bedtime routine and a consistent bedtime.
• Work out what time your child usually becomes sleepy, and start your bedtime routine 30-40 minutes before then.
• Make sure you use this routine when your child is drowsy rather than asleep.
• Don't be surprised if there are some peaks in crying before your baby starts to settle into a sleep pattern.
• Be patient: any sleep training technique can take a few weeks to work.

Pick up, put down technique at four-months-old

When your baby is four months, you can slightly adapt the steps as below:

• Only hold your baby for a maximum of five minutes. If they do not settle in that time, put them down and pick them up again if they are still upset.
• In between each pick up, put down, try and soothe them with a 'shush/ pat' in their cot.
• If the shush-pat doesn’t work, pick them up again.
• Put your little one down the moment they stop crying, start to settle or once you have held them for a maximum of five minutes.

Pick up, put down technique at five to six-months-old

The process changes slightly as your baby is starting to get older.

Be aware of their sleep cues
From 4-6 months it's important to watch your baby’s sleep cues. If they are arching their back it may be a sign they want to go back down EVEN if they are still crying.

Try not to reinforce 'I cry, I get picked up'

Holding your baby too long will associate crying with being picked up. You can label what you are doing, by saying 'Let me pick you up' or 'Let me put you down'.

Reduce the time you hold them
When you do pick your baby up, only hold them for a maximum of three minutes then put them down, even if they are still crying. You can then pick them up again and follow the same routine.

How to adapt 'pick up, put down' for your six to eight-month-old

By this age, the technique of pick up, put down becomes more of a partnership. It's important to follow your baby’s pace.

Don't immediately pick your baby up
Instead, offer to hold them and see if they respond. For example, hold your hands out to them and say, 'let me pick you up'. If they reach for you, pick them up.

Don't rock them
When you pick your baby up, hold them in a cradle position and say your key phrase. Then put them down straight after you've said your key phrase.

Follow your baby's lead
When they start to settle you can continue to use your key phrase. You can also put your hand gently on their chest or back, but be led by your baby. Some don't like this so watch out for their cues.

How to adapt 'pick up, put down' for your eight to 12-month-old

From this stage your baby will tend to soothe quicker in their cot. As such, unless they are really distressed don't pick them up but instead ...

Place them back down
If they are standing up or pulling themselves up, gently place them back down.

Use your voice
Your baby will start to recognise what you are saying, for example, 'It's nap time'.

Look at the 'gradual withdrawal' method
From this age, you may need to combine the pick up, put down method with the gradual withdrawal - or disappearing chair - method.

Have you tried the pick up, put down method? Chat to others in our thread below:

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