Pregnancy has its perks: glossy hair, glowing skin and a gorgeous bundle of joy at the end of nine months. But for some women, their intense fear of childbirth - also known as tokophobia - can stop them enjoying their pregnancy, let alone imagining the part where the baby arrives.
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This fear of giving birth is more than just natural anxiety about how much it'll hurt and whether they'll be able to cope. It's overwhelming and all-consuming... and it's more common than you may think.
Specific fears can include:
- Not being able to cope with the pain of childbirth
- Worries that the baby could be injured during the birth
- Thoughts of dying in childbirth
A study found tokophobia affects one in every five women. Around six in every 100 mums-to-be are so scared of labour and delivery that it affects their pregnancy and birth choices.
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Some women avoid getting pregnant while others are so frightened that they beg for a caesarean section, feeling it's a way of regaining some control.
In the most drastic cases, some pregnant women may even resort to a termination, even though they'd love to be a mum.
Why is tokophobia on the rise?
Talking about tokophobia on ITV's This Morning, Mark Harris, midwife and author of Men, Love & Birth (£8.99, Pinter & Martin), said:
'It's not just tokophobia that's on the rise now, it's primary tokophobia. This is an automatic response to a fear of birth when you haven't had a baby before, whereas most tokophobia in the past has been [in] women that have had an experience... Now, women are being reported as being afraid of giving birth, having never given birth before.'
Information overload
These days, we only have to break the news that we're expecting to friends and loved ones, to have 'the truth about giving birth' thrust upon us.
Although it's good to be prepared and know what to expect in labour, some women feel overwhelmed by negative stories, which may trigger or fuel their phobia.
Fly-on-the-wall programmes like One Born Every Minute don't help either, says Mark.
'I believe we've seen a shift in society structure,' he explains. 'We're not hearing birth stories that are enriching and enlivening. We've got One Born Every Minute where people are having their first experience of birth in a slightly detached sense, and I think that's contributing. It's obviously not the only thing but it's part of the general cultural shift.'
And, of course, parenting forums give mums-to-be fingertip access to a number of traumatic birthing stories.
For many mums, these are helpful, insightful and realistic. They also gives mums the chance to talk about their bad experiences and get support from other women who've been through similar.
But other mums-to-be are frankly terrified by the stories they read.
We noticed lots of chat about tokophobia in our Coffeehouse . One mum explained when her tokophobia first kicked in:
〝 My tokophobia started when I watched a sex education video at school. I just freaked out and I 'knew' I could not give birth. For years I wanted to adopt, and all previous boyfriends were told that. I am currently 9+4 and really struggling. I saw a midwife last week who was quite sympathetic when I explained how I felt. 〞
Another member revealed that her fear of labour developed after having had two children already, and led to her choosing to have a caesarean:
〝 I developed this phobia before the birth of my third baby... I elected for a c-section, my GP and MW both said it wouldn't be possible but the consultant agreed straight away. 〞
But other mums were quick to reassure women with tokophobia.
〝 Yes it is hard and does hurt, but the outcome is just amazing and the feeling you have after is like nothing you will have ever experienced before – true happiness! I wouldn't spend even a second worrying, just be excited as your baby is on their way!!! 〞
If you are scared of giving birth, we'e got more tips on how to ease this fear .
If you think you have tokophobia, talk through your fears with your GP or midwife.
And if you are traumatised by a previous experience of giving birth, contact the Birth Trauma Association for advice and support.
